Anexis Matos

Rcently, I made a post discussing that I’m questioning my gender. It was a very short piece I wrote for one of my classes. Definitely read it if you’re interested in my thoughts about it. Although it was not a very detailed piece, I covered everything I needed to at the time.

I still am questioning to a point, but there has been an update. My pronouns are now they/them. I feel more comfortable with these. I’m not in a category and it feels great.

I want to make something clear. Previously, I felt comfortable with the pronouns she/her. I’m 22 years old and, until very recently, I identified as a woman. It was a part of me. Truthfully, it still is as everyone around me still sees me as one. It’s also a part of my past, so it’s not like it went away the moment I realized I don’t feel comfortable with being identified as a woman anymore.

I mentioned in my post that English is an inclusive language while Spanish is not. English has more gender-neutral terms. It’s very easy for me not to reveal someone’s gender. If I don’t know someone’s gender, it’s very easy for me to phrase my sentences so that I don’t assume that they’re male or female.

In Spanish, that’s not something I’m able to do. However, I did some research and it seems like there’s a push to include gender-neutral pronouns and words. I want to make it clear that what I read is from 2020 and 2021. I couldn’t find anything from this year, but what I read gives me hope.

I came to the United States at age seven with my dad and older sister. I fluently spoke Spanish and was able to read it at the time. From what I’ve been told and remember, I picked up the English language quickly. I remember having issues at times with pronunciation, but that makes sense since I was learning.

I haven’t lost my Spanish. I still speak it fluently, but I have issues writing and reading it. I found out at 11 that my reading comprehension in Spanish is low to nonexistent. I can’t read a book in Braille written in Spanish because, although I have an understanding of the language, I will not understand the story.

In high school, I learned that Spanish has feminin and masculine words. It was during my junior year and the class was for beginners. I figured I would take it since I knew I would pass it. I learned this during a grammar lesson at some point in 2016. Somehow, I didn’t realize this in the years of speaking the language until then.

I love the Spanish language, but I’ve always hated the fact that there doesn’t seem to be gender-neutral words or pronouns. I grew up speaking English and Spanish. Both languages are a part of me. As I grew older, I noticed how inclusive and versatile English is. Meanwhile, Spanish has always felt restraining because of the lack of versatility. This is how it’s always felt to me. Others might have a different experience.

Spanish is my first language, but I’m no longer that comfortable in it. I still speak it fluently enough and I’m happy I do. However, although it’s my second language, English feels like my first. I use it more in my daily life and, because of its inclusivity and versatility, I feel more comfortable speaking it. I feel more seen. The fact that I’m fluent in both languages has never had any impact on my feelings.

The fact that there seems to be a push for gender-neutral words and pronouns in Spanish is great. It means that there will be more ways to express yourself as a person. To tell others who they are and how they feel. That someone like me who speaks both languages feels comfortable expressing themselves in both. It means the Spanish language will expand to accommodate everyone.

I’ve only told three people about my pronouns and none of them are my parents. I feel like it would be complicated to explain. Gender-neutral pronouns are not in common use in Spanish as far as I know. For them, I’m a woman. If I do tell them, it’ll be through a social media post.

I’m hopeful that the push for gender-neutral words and pronouns continues. Languages are constantly evolving. I can’t wait for Spanish to do so to accommodate more than male and female.

With all that said, my name is Anexis and my pronouns are they/them. It’s very nice to meet you.